I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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