Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
