I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
