Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
