I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
