I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
