he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
