There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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