I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
