I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
