How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
