I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Found your dick twin last night
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
