Midget sex pt 2 tonight
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
