too bad you live with your parents still
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize