Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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