Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
