i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
