Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
