if i can run in heels then i can drive
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
