Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Operation Purity has been aborted
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
