1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and she was petting her beer can
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
