if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
