Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
