Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
