I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
