dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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