we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
