This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
