he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
