So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
