why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
