He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
