New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
