My room smells like vodka and shame
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
