We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
