yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize