So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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