I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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