he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just high enough for therapy.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
