The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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