So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
