STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
