Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
