Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
