i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
