she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You were trust falling into bushes
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
