Define "chronic" masturbator.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
