You made me cry and you don't even care
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
