my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize