yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
