Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
