Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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