You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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