There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
