Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
