Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
