You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
