So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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