No awkward lesbian experiences without me
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
