I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
